What It Means To Be Quietly Confident

Daily Thoughts


There’s a misconception that confidence means being an extrovert, being loud, openly expressive and outgoing. There is this image of someone who is likable, energetic and gets a long with everyone. However, confidence means having faith in yourself or someone else. It’s the state of feeling certain about the truth of something. There is this idea that only extroverts can be truly confident, yet there are many misconceptions about introverts that can cause this thought. Confidence is something you create within yourself, it’s not something you’re born with.

I found this answer from Quora, and appreciate it so much. As an introvert, I’ve grown up being told (even til today), that I need to be more confident. As someone who is comfortable in their own skin, there’s often a mistake of equating confidence with being loud. The words “Nothing is ever as it seems, especially when it comes to people,” that she wrote is extremely true. We can never truly judge a book by its cover, especially when we only see the external parts of people. I may be a more soft spoken person, but I feel confident in being myself.

Confidence isn’t about being noticed. True confidence is believing in your abilities as an individual. It means staying strong to your values. Being quietly confident means you aren’t afraid to speak up for what you believe in. It means being able to differentiate constructive criticism and judgment, and which ones to take on and which to let go. It means you know that you will make mistakes, but you will keep trying. A person who is quietly confident, doesn’t feel the need to validate themselves to others. They don’t feel the need to tell everyone about their achievements, and they’re not afraid to tell other people about their failures.

Very often quiet people are underestimated and overlooked, with no acknowledgement of their achievements. They don’t tend to tell many people, and may come off as unsocial and may seem distant at times. The thing is when someone is quiet, it doesn’t mean they are less confident. Confidence is very much an internal feeling of self assurance. There are quiet people who may love conversing with others, and there may be those who are more loud who need time to spend with themselves. Everyone is different. We all express ourselves in different ways.

It’s easy to create an idea of what an individual may be like with labels such as introvert, shy or quiet, but I find that narrows down the ability to truly get to know someone. Some people take more time to open up than others. I’ve been told by people to be more loud. A part of me wants to say that my personality doesn’t mean I can’t be confident, it simply means I show it in a different way. There are many extroverts labeled as confident, but confidence isn’t based on a personality type.

As an individual, I’m not afraid to ask questions, and this is something I feel quietly confident with. Many quiet people are highly observant and analytical. They know how to determine a situation, and some people are able to read what others may be feeling. They tend to think before they speak. Those who speak the most or talk the loudest, doesn’t mean they always have the most substantial things to say. Our personality doesn’t determine our intelligence or our abilities.

I consider myself quite a talkative person, when I’m having a engaging conversation that interests me or makes me thoughtful. I feel a quiet confidence, because I don’t feel the need to alter myself to a loud person in order to be similar to how others may express confidence. When we don’t say anything, it doesn’t mean that we don’t know, we’re clueless or we’re not interested. It may mean we’re thinking deeply or listening carefully. There are certain things that don’t always need to be said out loud.

There is this common thought, that those who are loud are strong, and those who are quiet are weak. These are all from the way things look, rather than what they are. It’s the way it appears, but not often what it may be. There are many quiet people who have achieved great things in the world. They have a sense of self acceptance. We should embrace our strengths and qualities of ourselves, the way we wouldn’t change the accent we have, we shouldn’t need to change our personality to please others.

What I feel is that those who lack self confidence, are those who feel the need to fill the silence every second. They are uncomfortable in sitting in silence. Then it doesn’t feel raw and real, because there is this discomfort that they may feel in feeling quiet in the presence of others. Confidence means embracing yourself and being sure of your decisions. It’s not something that can be worn, but an attitude of being comfortable in who you are as a person. It means not being afraid to make mistakes and learning from them and being true to yourself.

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9 thoughts on “What It Means To Be Quietly Confident

  1. I just came over this blog post. And I’ve never really thought about confidence that way. I always thought that you’re only confidence when youre loud. And this article made me change that view of that. I’ve always been a quiet person with low self esteem. I’ve been working on it for years and been mad at myself so many times for not being loud enough. I just have to change the way I think. Because now I know that I can be confident too. Loved reading this, thank you!

    1. Hi Madeleine, thank you for sharing with me. I think that it’s often forgotten that confidence comes from within, and it’s ultimately a feeling. thank you for your beautiful comment.

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