My Journey And Relationship With Food


I was watching the video below by It’s Jcanana. I could relate to what she was saying, and it made me think of my own journey with food. As it’s something so personal, it’s easy for other’s to think from the outside “Why should you be self conscious, you’re quite slim.” I really wanted to write this for a long time, and over the years I’d written a few drafts and always ended up not posting them. However, I feel that it’s the right time to write it out. Growing up, I often heard the similar words of, you should eat more and you’re so skinny. I feel that it’s not a compliment, and shouldn’t be, and sometimes it was said that way and other time’s it was said unkindly. It gave me a certain pressure to sustain the weight I was, even though I was in my early teens.

I remember going to markets or clothing stores, and older ladies telling me that the clothes are more likely to fit me than them. I ate very healthily growing up while I was at home, but at the same time I exercised a lot. I woke up every morning before school to go for a run, and every afternoon after school. I drank a lot of water, and generally lived a healthy lifestyle. However, in that aspect I was wanting to be fitter, but I was also wanting to maintain my weight, while still eating as much as I wanted to. It was when I left home at 16 when I became more preoccupied with my weight and body image. I went through a difficult time during 2013 where I hit rock bottom, and I fell into depression. I rarely ate a lot at the uni hall I lived at, and often didn’t have dinner.

When I lived at the hall, I’d buy cereal from the supermarket, and just eat those. I was going to the gym and exercising more, but following my second year, I was eating more, but I ate a lot of oats and often just had that for dinner. When I moved to Sydney for two years, I lost the most weight that I had since my first year at uni. I’d always eaten mostly vegetarian, but it was during this time I decided to go fully vegetarian. However, it made me lose a lot of energy and affected my mood. Now, after doing a lot of research over the years, I eat mainly vegetarian. Last year I cooked a lot for myself, but I really do think the environment we’re in can greatly affect our mood. At the time I wasn’t so happy where I was, but this year is definitely the most happiest I’ve felt in my environment and in my lifestyle.

Last year I went through a period of time where I ate far too much sweets, as I was going through a period of time where I felt stressed. I think it’s so important to eat when you’re hungry, and never deprive yourself. Be in a positive environment, live a healthy lifestyle and gradually change your mindset towards your body through self talk. Self love allows us to nourish our mind, body and soul. It can be frustrating when people assume you aren’t healthy if you’re slim, if you happen to have a small meal you can be judged from it and being pointed out about certain body parts. One of the best changes I’ve made is being with people who are uplifting, and those who don’t focus on the outward appearances.

When you eat a healthy filling breakfast, it can really set the start of the day with a burst of energy. Don’t limit what you eat, but just eat until you are 80% full. We should try to judge less what someone’s body image is, and most of all ourselves. Most of us would never tell a friend that they should be skinnier, because we’d only wish that they are happy and healthy. That is why it’s important to be kinder, because often we can be the most hardest on ourselves. When I went through a period of time where my focus was so set on being at a certain weight, it was an unhealthy pattern and the cycle would continue, but I wouldn’t be truly happy.

Being skinny doesn’t make you happy. It’s the life you choose to live, making a delicious meal, surrounding yourself with positive people and the simple things that give us the greatest joy. We live in a judgmental and superficial society, and so there will always be people who will point out other’s appearances, compare themselves or judge them from the way they look. Our most beautiful self is in our mind and soul, and that kind of beauty takes time to discover from a person. The best that we can do is to be the best person we can be, and focus on living a good life. What is your relationship like with food? How has it changed over the years?

8 thoughts on “My Journey And Relationship With Food

  1. Interesting read! As for your end of article questions, my relationship with food has changed in the last 2 years. Growing up I could eat whatever I wanted and never gained weight. To be fair, I was also fairly active at time. Now at 25, working in an office, I’ve started packing on some weight. So I’m trying to live a healthier lifestyle by not eating junk food, but it’s hard! And working at a desk all day, it’s just so easy to snack and be hungry all the time. It’s a work in progress, but just looking for substitute food to eat that are healthier options :). Also, food is life and can make or break your mood.

    1. Thank you for sharing! Ah I see, I feel I’d be the same, it’s easier to feel hungry when you’re sitting down for a long period (I think!). yes that’s so true, food can really affect your emotions.

  2. I remember hearing a lot of comments in high school like “eat a burger” “twiggy” “chopstick” said towards the skinny girls and since I was never considered thin or skinny it never came up in my mind that it could hurt as bad as it hurts a plus sized person.
    Once I was in a relationship, my thoughts on food and my appearance changed so much and I started to always judge myself and other girls, both fat and skinny because i was in the middle. I would judge thin people who complain about being fat and think “you’re skinny you can’t complain” but then again I wasn’t even overweight so I should not complain either. I had plus sized friends and i know I would never complain about my weight in front of them so why should I do it when I’m alone.
    It’s just so confusing when dealing with weight because I can’t imagine what a plus sized girl feels and I also can’t tell what a skinny girl feels. I learned to stop hating myself this year and I’m so happy with where I am and working on a goal weight because I’m not healthy for my height age etc.

    I’m in the middle of the fat/skinny spectrum and all I can do is love myself and love my friends whatever size they are. I feel like I have to be that voice for them to remind them its ok if you’re fat or skinny. Just be happy and healthy and show them I love myself and also love them. What matters is how I treat people not my appearance tbh.
    In the end, I blame the media because that really affected me on how i thought of myself and other girls once I was in a relationship. ahh I wrote so much lol But yes i agree 100% that you have to live your best life! appearance is nothing if youre crap on the inside

    1. Thanks for taking the time to share this with me, I really appreciate your comment :) I remember girls at school who would say “I feel so fat” even though they’re thin, and at the same time, I never vocalised my feelings in terms of weight, but inside that’s how I felt sometimes. At the time (during teens) it can definitely be an insecurity for many girls. Our inner voice is so important, and I think accepting and loving the body we’re in is the first step. I’m glad you’re much happier where you are this year! Exactly, what matters is our attitude and how we treat others, not the way we look(but it’s tricky when the media and society is very much based on appearances). But, similar to what you said you can look beautiful outside at first, but if you’re not a kind person, it will show through and overpower any appearances.

  3. I had just watched Jcnana’s video too and have actually been pondering a lot about my relationship with food, especially this past year when I moved away from home to attend college. I gained a lot of weight (about 10-15lbs) since coming to college, mostly during the first half of the year. Stress and lack of knowledge were major contributors to this issue, and it made me more self-conscious about my image than I have ever been. I grew up skinny, never ate that much, but I have started eating much more since coming to college. A lot of people (mainly girls) also struggle with this at college, which makes this issue quite relatable but, at the same time, doesn’t really help the issue as we all struggle together. It has made me think a lot about finding my own balance between food, exercise, sleep, and just a healthy lifestyle in general. It has been a constant struggle, but becoming more aware and understanding of this issue (partly by reading/watching YouTubers) has helped me understand what the heck is going on with my body. Thanks for sharing!!

  4. This made me think of my first year of university, and a part of me really wants to say it’s natural to gain weight in the first year, but I know at the same time it’s a hard thing to experience.I remember lots of people in my hall called it the ‘freshers five’. The first year can come with the stress, but I’m sure you’ll find a good rhythm and balance :)

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