People Will Judge No Matter What You Do In Life

Daily Thoughts

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No matter how successful we are in our lives or how badly we may fall, we will always be judged. It happens no matter if we are striving for something, making a change in our lives or taking action for something. There is a strange peace in knowing that we can’t please everyone in the world. We can only do what we feel is right in our heart. There is a huge difference between someone who talks about facts and truths, compared to someone who gossips about others. Talking of others with facts or speaking of them kindly is hugely different to those who completely judge those they don’t really know.

People will judge automatically on the way someone appears, dress, moves, speak, what they study, where they work, how much money they earn, where they live, what their friends are like etc. We all do it in the sense that we all have our own opinions. Those who are less judgmental are often more loving towards those around them. It’s a terrible feeling when we feel judged or spoken about without any facts. No one enjoys the feeling of being talked about, yet many still engage in talking about others. An important message to remember is that others opinions about you, do not define who you are as a person.

If you have nothing nice or constructive to say, don’t say anything at all.  We all have thoughts, opinions and our perceptions in life. However, not all things are needed to be said out loud. Sometimes they can hurt the person or only bring negativity. Especially when words don’t encourage improvement, positive change or motivation, they can be kept inside. Those who speak unkindly about others are only reflecting who they are as a person. When I catch myself feeling frustrated, I try to maintain a neutral view and remember that everyone is different.

Judgement comes from those who want to feel that they are more superior. It may also be because they want to find a flaw to bring you down, to make themselves feel better. It can also come from disapproval of someones actions or appearance. I think everyone’s seen on the media, how they constantly bring down celebrities. If someone is too skinny they may have anorexia, and if they gain more weight, they tell us that they might be pregnant or overweight. No one ever wins, because people will always find something negative to point out. Remember that your self worth isn’t formed by others validation or approval.

When we are judged through our appearances and what can be seen, it’s like reading a cover of a book, and never reading the content. The way we feel in our lives shouldn’t be relied on how others feel about us. Never rely on others for your own happiness. Don’t be afraid to do what you want in life because you fear what others will say. When you strive for the stars, people will still whisper. Do it anyway for yourself. Everyone makes their own mistakes and goes through tough times. Nobody is perfect in this world. What is important is to stay true to who you are, and go for the things you want in your life.

Art by Helena Perez Garcia

People Come And Go In Our Lives For A Reason

Daily Thoughts

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There is a reason why people come and go (or stay) in our lives. When I reflect back on the people I have met over the course of my life, I realise that no matter what the relationship was like with the person, I learned something from it. It’s very common for people to ask others, how someone is doing and what they’re up to now, as I’ve come to realise. But it’s rare that they truly care, and more often they just want to gossip about it. They will talk about things that they know the details of about two sentences of. I say this because I only have a very very small amount of people I talk to in my life, who know what I’m going through. It shows that often the people we will have a long term (or life time) relationship with, are the ones who truly care.

People come and go in our lives, but this happens in a lot of other aspects of our lives. These include jobs, material possessions, familiarity, new places and such. The lessons we learn from mistakes, experiences, people, new things and memories. When we are young, it’s natural to have different friendship groups especially because we change so much during those years. A common example in the way people come and go, is the way we interact and see everyone everyday at school. The day when everyone leaves the nest, people tend to only keep in contact with those that also put in the effort, time and care for. That is when you will learn that many friends interact with others out of convenience and other friendships last through distance and time.

The people who come may be in your life at that time to help you through a period of struggle or share joyful moments together. They may be someone who shows you their true colours, and teaches you the importance of surrounding yourself with those with similar values. Everyone will share different advice, but it’s the choice and ability to choose the one that is beneficial to yourself. The wonderful thing about meeting new people, is the way that we are all just strangers walking by. There is so much to discover and get to know from a person when we take the time. The encounters we have can often teach us something about the person or about ourselves. We discover more about how our mind works and how someone else may see the world.

The people who go may go naturally or through different reasons. Perhaps it may of developed into a toxic relationship, other times someone may be moving away and sometimes it’s simply that time to go separate ways. We won’t be best friends with every person in our lives, and every relationship will have its ups and downs. It’s like a chapter beautifully closing and other times it’s a chapter of your life that is much needed. People are living their own life, they’re moving and changing and sometimes two people cannot move the same direction together. It means that they must go away on their separate paths. An example is a beautiful friend I met last year. She was always there to show that she cared, listened and we shared lovely conversations together. But, over time we simply moved on with our own lives.

The people who stay are very often those such as our family and those who we share an emotional connection with over the years. They are people we place our trust and love with. Long term relationships grow over time, because both individuals experience the ups and downs of life’s roller coaster. Even through the tough times, they stick together and make the effort and time to make it work. Life is a journey, not a destination. Time will always keep going and we have to move with it. We’ve all experienced good and bad relationships with people, but a few things I find very important in a positive friendship is to have trust, similar values, the ability to make time, being a good listener, understanding without judgment and sharing joy for the small things.

art by Lieke van der Vorst